Park Is No Place for Private Grief

(April 29) - Grief is a very personal burden. Some people carry it for a long time. Some need the help of family and friends to shoulder the load. The heaviest grief of all is the one following the death of a child. It is every parent’s worst nightmare and something that can never be put down.

The closest I ever came to this was 11 years ago last Sunday. My nephew Ruairi was beaten by leukemia when he was just 13 years old. Like his uncle, he was never in any danger of becoming an outstanding athlete. Also like his uncle, he wasn’t quite photogenic enough to get his picture on the cover of Rolling Stone. But he enjoyed life, and every one who knew him enjoyed his company. Rarely a week goes by without me remembering him and thinking of him. It’s a daily remembrance for his parents and sisters. Many families have felt a similar sadness.

You don’t get over the death of a child, and nor should you be expected to. Whether from a sudden fatality or a protracted illness, it is a violation of what should be the natural progression of life. We are supposed to go out in order of seniority. Sons and daughters are supposed to bury their parents. Parents are not supposed to bury their children.

I am thinking of this just now because of the proposal by the Lambden family to redevelop a quarter of St. George’s Park as a memorial to their son. Just over a year ago, in February 2007, 10-year old Nicholas Lambden was playing hockey there. He suffered a fatal injury when he was hit on the head by a puck.

It was such a rare event that it received national attention. Don Cherry spoke about it during an episode of Coach’s Corner. James Duthie spoke about it on TSN. A very tasteful memorial has been put in the park near where the accident occurred. An iron bench was installed with a plaque inviting skaters to sit and remember the lad while they tie their skates. It is nice. It is thoughtful. It is appropriate. If an extra memorial is felt to be needed, a tree planting would be suitable. Let a living organism take root and grow close to where the tragedy struck. There are memorial trees, with dedication plaques, in several city parks, including St. George’s.

The family’s proposal has been brought to the city’s Community Development Committee. Fifty-eight current, and two former, neighbourhood residents signed a letter to city council asking that it be turned down. I live a block from the park, but wasn’t one of the signatories. I would have been, had I been asked.

There is already an inappropriate memorial in the park. For over a year a large wooden cross has hung on the ball diamond fence. There are also two floral wreaths that are regularly renewed. It is a small shrine that does not belong in a public park. Religious symbolism should not be permitted on public property. I am surprised the city Parks and Recreation Department has tolerated this misuse of the park for as long as it has.

The redevelopment, if it is approved by Council, would remove the baseball diamond and replace it with a gazebo built on the spot where the accident happened.

Further into the park, parallel with the tennis courts, there will be a soccer field that could be converted to a skating rink in the winter. There would be bleachers along the fence line. There would be a second recreational rink in the winter. As a memorial it would be, as one of the neighbourhood people expressed it, “way over the top.”

The Lambdens say they will pay for the changes to the park. The additions won’t become the city’s responsibility until a year after they are built. This is all well and good, but it misses the point. This is about a bereaved family, not about money. Whether the parents are home builders or home cleaners, the principle is the same: public space should not be permanently taken over by private grief.

A Month To Make a Difference

(April 15) - Guelph reads. Guelph writes. Guelph listens. Guelph plays. Guelph suffers. Guelph helps. Whether we are creating or consuming, we love our books and we love our music. When tragedy falls upon our friends and neighbours, we help relieve the pain. In the next few weeks we will see all this coming together in different ways.

Tomorrow evening is the third annual general meeting of the Friends of the Guelph Public Library. This year’s version of Guelph Reads is coming up on April 26. Earth Day is on April 22. The 24th annual day of mourning for workers killed or injured on the job is on April 28. Earlier this month, on April 5, some of our local musicians put on a special benefit concert for local artist Sue Richards. On May 8, more than 60 of Guelph’s authors and illustrators will be on hand for the second event marking our library’s 125th anniversary.

There’s an awful lot of literacy, musicianship and plain, old fashioned caring being packed into a month.

David Corks, the city’s Downtown Economic Development Manager, is the guest speaker at the Friends’ AGM tomorrow. He will speak about the plan and proposal for the development of the Baker Street parking lot, anchored by a new main library. He’ll listen to opinions and answer questions. So if you have any, it’s in the downtown library at 7:30.

Four local luminaries think they know of a book that everyone in Guelph should read. Local and international AIDS activist Dr. Anne-Marie Zajdlik thinks it is 28, a collection of stories by Stephanie Nolen about the severity of the epidemic in Africa. Local author Rozena Maart will tell you to read I Write What I Like by Steve Biko, a hero of the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa. Local author and member of the Order of Canada, Tom King, says you should read Urban Meltdown, a book about planning in an age of climate change. Our Chief Librarian, Norm McLeod, will urge you back to a time when climate change heralded the passing of the seasons. He thinks everyone ought to read Henry David Thoreau’s Walden. Four good books. Go down to the Guelph Youth Music Centre on April 26 and find out why you should read them all.

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That was the good news. Now some bad. In 2007, the Workplace Safety and Insurance Board allowed 555 claims for workplace fatalities. There were 333,938 allowed claims for lost time workplace injuries and diseases. Just in Ontario. The Parkinson Society of Canada estimates that about 100,000 Canadians have Parkinson’s disease. That’s a lot of sorrow falling down on a lot of families.

The local labour council puts on a commemorative event every year in Goldie Mill Park. This year it is at 5:00 p.m. on Monday April 28. All workers have a right to health and safety. They should go home at the end of a shift in the same shape as they went to work. Too many don’t. It doesn’t matter if you are in a union or not. Go to Goldie Mill and let the local labour people know you appreciate what they are doing to make work safer.

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Of all the Canadians with Parkinson’s, one started the Breast of Canada calendar to raise money and awareness for breast cancer research. Sue Richards also started Art Jam, a community arts project. She was a founding member of the Hillside festival. She is a decent human being who needs help. Her friends are rallying around to bring it to her. Some put on a benefit concert a couple of weeks ago. There’s another concert coming on May 2 to raise money for another local artist, Robert Howson, who has been diagnosed with cancer.

When I think of these situations, I am aware that too many people in our world are sick. Too many families are suffering with little or no help. I am also reminded of the tale about a young woman walking on a beach, throwing starfish back into the ocean. When asked what difference this could make when so many fish were washed up on such a large beach, she said: “it made a difference to that one.”

So go and find your starfish to help. There’s lots to choose from.

Climate Change - Iron Out the Ironies

(April 01) - People in Guelph and around the world spoke out on climate change last Saturday. For one hour, they told their political leaders to do something about it. If these leaders want to keep their jobs, they better start listening.

Earth hour was a classic case of a local idea growing into a global phenomenon. It began last year in Sydney, Australia with a lights out hour on March 31. Other cities had done similar things at different times on different days. This year they brought it all together for one hour on the same day.

The speed with which climate change awareness is spreading should be a clear message to the Stephen Harpers of the world: they continue ignoring and denying climate change at their peril. They must either mend their ways or get out of our way. It is doubtful that they will change themselves. They had lots of opportunities to do so in recent years, but missed every chance they got.

They will tell you they care. They will cloak the Tory blue in a shade of green and continue to undermine international agreements on climate change.

This sort of duplicity is happening all over the place these days. Businesses everywhere have read the writing on the public wall and developed ad campaigns to match. They are re-branding themselves as champions of the environment.

Even Wal-Mart’s getting in on it. The largest retailer in the world, the contributor to Chinese pollution, the destroyer of local businesses, the impoverisher of suppliers, has a web site called “for the greener good.” They never let the facts get in the way of a chirpy marketing slogan.

The irony does not start or end with Wal-Mart. Take a look at Tim Horton’s. As we were turning off our lights on Saturday, Tim’s was moving into the final days of this year’s roll up the rim extravaganza. Many people who sat in the dark on Saturday evening also sat in the drive through on Sunday morning.

Don’t get me wrong. Before I got hooked on Planet Bean, I was a Tim Horton’s guy. A lot of very good people get their coffee fixes there. A lot of very good people work there. In years gone by I have rolled up rims and recycled please-play-again cups. I even drove through drive throughs. Often I’d park and walk in, but not always. Almost all the time I brought my own mug. This is the point at which you notice the irritating little contradictions.

If you read through Tim’s web site, you will learn that they hate litter as much as you do and they want to reduce it. They even discount a cup of coffee by 10 cents if you have a travel mug. But drive through with a travel mug during roll up the rim month and they will offer you an empty cup to throw on the litter pile. All year round you can call into the loud speaker that you want a “large mug refill, cream and sugar.” By the time you get to the pick up window, one will be waiting in a large waxed paper cup which will be poured into the travel mug and the cup will be thrown on the litter pile.

Tossed out with it should be Tim’s self-serving statements about environmental commitment. That’s without mentioning the effect of all those idling engines.

There’s one other irony worth pointing out. To support the global initiative, Pearson International Airport dimmed the lights in its terminals. It was a nice gesture, but when it comes to climate change the consumption of electricity contributes next to nothing compared to the consumption of jet fuel. Imagine the difference to the environment if all the aeroplanes in the world had been grounded for an hour. Fewer people would have been affected, but the impact would have been much larger.

Symbolic, consciousness raising events such as Earth Hour should move us towards more permanent actions.

We need to examine all the little ironies in our lives and find ways to make better decisions about the things we do every day. We need to think about where we shop, what we buy, how it’s packaged and how it is disposed of when we no longer want it.

Whenever you turn off a light in your home, turn one on in your mind.