Send some spam next time

(January 27) - It’s getting a little silly out there. Maybe a bit more than a little. Last Wednesday evening I got one of those irritating long distance phone calls. You know the type. You probably get them as well, from one marketer or another. It is often either Rogers or Bell offering a free something that will cost money sooner or later. Usually sooner. Or it could be a deal on new windows. Or a wonderful ocean cruise if you act right now.

It wasn’t any of them. It was Gilles Bisson. He was talking about the historic moment we’re living through – it was the day after the Obama inauguration, after all – and I could help create another historic moment by electing him to replace Howard Hampton.

I’ve met Bisson a few times. He comes from northern Ontario and is the MPP for Timmins - James Bay. He’s been in Guelph several times to help with campaigns on a variety of issues.

He’s a very nice guy. Sincere, hard working and all the rest of it. If he was a convent I’d run a glass staircase up his side and keep him around forever. But he’s not a convent and he’s not Barack Obama.

He’s not the only one scrambling to ride the Obama bump. Ikea unleashed a new advertising campaign last week. It tells Americans to embrace change and to start it with domestic reform. They even rented presidential looking limousines and drove around Washington with Ikea boxes strapped to the roof. Pepsi got in the act as well. They plastered Washington with billboards saying “joy” and “hope”. They put the round Pepsi symbol where the ‘o’ should be.

Bisson is more like Ikea than he’s like Obama. He’s safe, comfortable, and accessible. He’s reliable. Steady and sturdy. If you were going to go out and buy a dining room table, you’d tell the sales clerk to bring you one that’s built like Bisson. It’s strength would be that it is just like every other table you’ve ever had. It would do its job and you’d get more than your money’s worth.

You wouldn’t invite your friends over so they could all admire the table. They’d enjoy a meal while being generally aware that if the table wasn’t there, the food would be in an awful mess all over the floor.

The message itself was just one of the things that annoyed me. I confess I didn’t listen to the whole thing. It might have changed as it went on. Not likely, but maybe. I should also disclose that the other annoyance was the call itself. I don’t react well to these things. A taped automatic message at supper time is not a direct route to the warm and fuzzy side of my heart. Sending spam is marginally more effective.

The most annoying thing is that Bisson does not need to jump onto the Obama bandwagon. He has his own strengths that have served him well over the years. Being new is not one of them. If Ontario New Democrats embrace Bisson, they’ll be reaching for a comfortable sweater to keep out the winds of change.

Four people are running for Hampton’s job. They’ll be at Norfolk United Church on February 10. The voting is in March. Three are men, aged 51, 57 and 60. Bisson is the youngest.

If they want to pin their hopes on Obamania, they might note that he is 47 years old. Andrea Horwath, the only woman in the running, is 45. She worked as a community development worker before winning elections. Not that it matters, but isn’t that how himself earned a pay cheque before Chicago sent him to Washington? Of the four Ontario candidates, which one looks the most like Barack Obama?

If I were recording a telephone message to blast across the province, I’d think things through ahead of time. The New Democratic Party of Ontario has only ever had, from the day of its birth, white men in suits as leaders. If the thing we want is historic change, which of these four candidates should we think about?

But then, if I were sending out telemarketing messages, I’d make sure to lose my number. I can’t stand the things.