Cycle of violence is never-ending

(December 01) - I still remember the shock and horror of the CBC national news 20 years ago.

A man, angry and twisted by a hatred of women, walked into a Montreal engineering school and shot 28 people, four men and 24 women. Fourteen of the women died. There was no question, no doubt about his purpose. He declared his hatred for feminists. In his mind, any woman attempting to get ahead in life was a feminist. In one classroom he ordered the men students to one side and then shot all nine women, killing six.

It brought into focus, in the most graphic and disturbing manner possible, the reality of violence against women. Although such concentrated violence has not been duplicated in Canada, either before or since, individual acts continue unabated.

There is one difference between what happened that day in Montreal and what happens every day of the year in homes across the country.

The women who were shot in Montreal did not know their attacker. They were anonymous victims who suffered from a man’s blind rage. Almost all women who are beaten, stabbed, shot and abused know who hurt them. It was the man who, on their wedding day, promised to protect her. The man who, the night before, told her I love you. The man who couldn’t understand why she left him. The man who is a role model to his sons. Someone she thought was her friend, her companion, her lover.

You don’t have to look far in Guelph to see this ugly reality. You could sit in on any of the anger-management programs going on every day of the week. Most of the men who sign up have come nose-to-nose with a court date. When up against an assault charge for laying a beating on a wife or girlfriend, they take the best advice any lawyer will give: get ready to tell the judge that you are remorseful and trying to change your ways. When the charge goes away, so does the remorse. When remorse disappears, restraint goes with it and a woman gets hurt again.

You would also see it if you could look in on any of the several shelters operating throughout Guelph and Wellington County. Even if you could, you shouldn’t. They are not open to casual observers, and you don’t want to go through what people go through to qualify for a bed in one. Shelters are where the women in our lives go to escape the men in their lives.

What will it take to end this cycle of violence? Sometimes I despair that anything will. It is so deeply and darkly ingrained. If the people who create our cultural landmarks continue to defend Roman Polanski, there may not be any hope.

Polanski is a brilliant filmmaker. He directed movies such as Rosemary’s Baby, Chinatown and The Pianist. He also had a troubled personal life. In 1977, when he was 44, he was convicted of raping a 13-year-old girl. He fled to Europe before sentencing. Now he faces extradition back to Los Angeles. Hundreds of other filmmakers and actors, people like Woody Allen and Martin Scorsese, have rallied to his defence.

Polanski can afford $4.2 million bail. He can do house arrest in a $1.6-million chalet in a luxury Swiss resort. He should not use his money to evade justice. Time does not heal all wounds, and money does not buy forgiveness. The rich and the poor can be equally abusive. Neither should get away with it.